Yes, I’m still awake and shouldn’t be

For me, when all hell breaks lose emotionally, my safe port is always reading, and is always long stretches of reading especially when I should be sleeping.  For the past couple days, it’s been finishing Anathem, then a Michael Z. Williamson book, and last night/this morning working on finishing Cryptonomicron for the third time.  I finally figure out what happened to Enoch Root during WWII; it was a couple sentences, which are easy to miss if you don’t know what to look for (I know more than I knew during the previous readings.)

So what is this emotional crisis?  The Russian Front.  I shouldn’t be bothered with that; hell, I should have dumped the email address once I realized that she was digi-stalking me… But I was the one that started the whole mess…  Ugh, I’m going to leave this conversation for my therapist, because I haven’t slept any, and I’m in no condition to talk about it.  I’m bothered deeply, and we’ll leave it at that.

So I’m reading. A lot.  In the long run, along with the fact that I’m blogging again, is a good sign for things to come, or so I hope.  I keep telling myself that I’ll write seriously again (while others might disagree with me, blogging isn’t real writing to me… Why? Dunno.)  If the writing comes, it comes.  If not, the Universe will never know.  I think I need regular sleep patterns first, which I thought I had…

Any ways, my eyes are itchy, so I’m going to attempt to sleep without pills.  Wish me luck.

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