Who in the hell thought the “tortured genius” was a good idea?

One of the smartest talks I’ve ever heard.

When she started talking, I automatically felt a connection to her subject matter. My relationship with creativity has been anything but easy, and it doesn’t help that there are times I check out of this world, and do things that have nothing with creating at all…

Except that the things I do are about creativity, just in odd directions that no one thinks about. Like playing Civ and Sins. There story telling aspects to those games that I just don’t share, like when I was in the middle of a war, and suddenly an old enemy declares war on me, and I have get as many as my men out as I can, with a lone rifleman covering my retreat, dying in the jungles near my border. Or I took an enemy for granted, and I had to evacuate all of my fleets across an entire star system to get to safe territory after he invaded. (We got curb-stomped anyways.)

It’s moments like those that grab me, using a game as my canvas, instead of the paper and pen. Yet… those moments have nothing to do with “genius” as we know, just an interactive novel. Basically, I’m a consumer instead of a producer. To me though, even though it might not seem like it, I’m not really worried about it. The whole “aren’t you afraid” bit… I’ve come to terms with the fact that I might not have the discipline to be a “real” writer. It’s OK. Just as long as I leave something behind, even if it is my rabbit droppings of Twitter stories, only God knows who find those later and go “OMG these are awesome!” (No, I really don’t believe that. No, I really don’t care. Just as long as I exercise my genie every once in a while, I’m good.)

Right now, I’m content with my life, with what I’m writing and doing. Maybe that’s a sign that I need to shake things up, but after all of the upheaval I’ve seen, quite frankly, I’ll change when I’m good and ready to. No sooner, no later, unless the change comes to me, and then I’ll ride it out like I always have. And dear God, that was a subtle shift in subject… *wonders off looking for something else to do.*

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