So is my autopilot going to give the digital middle finger?

The “Car of the Future!” I keep wondering when cars will drive themselves, and we will simply be passengers on the road of life (heh, if that isn’t a metaphor that I couldn’t turn into a full-fledged rant…) As you can tell from that parenthesis, I’m ambivalent about the whole automated car thing. Part of me hesitates to give up that much control, knowing the abuses that we are simply waiting to happen (between the government and hackers, the group think and the ardent individualist… I don’t so much despair of humanity, as revel in its imperfections, therefor reveling in my own imperfections, and doing my best to understand and make fun of such imperfections at every chance I get.)

The other part thinks that we should just go to automated cars anyways so I can be doing other things, like read, watch Stargate SG-1, watch pr0n, have sex with Heather Graham… Oops, I’m drifting again. Give me a sec to… err… clean up… that section. Yeah, that’s the ticket. The great state of Wackyfornia is going to legislate safety anyways, so why not.

The odd thing about automated cars is that I would miss the other idiot drivers. Seriously. There are HOURS of entertainment if you sit at an intersection and watch all of the stupid, hazardous things people do behind the wheel of the car, not really thinking about what they are doing, despite hours upon hours of hammering into their heads of safety principles (As a meter reader, I received said hammering, so much hammering that I have the safety principles carved into my forehead like Mount Rushmore.) OK, maybe not hours of entertainment, more like seconds, with hours of boredom. I exagerated, bite me.

The one thing I really, really want in that future tech article is the HUD. I’ve seen these in Popular Mechanics 15 years ago, and if you’ve ever seen movies with fighter jets, you know what I’m talking about. Yeah, I really want to blow up… err, pretend to blow up the other stupid drivers, for getting in my way. Hmmmm, you know, I could probably get a hold of some surplus rocket launchers from Russia… Oh, sorry, thinking out loud.

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